Kelly Clarkson stole America’s heart as the 20-year-old pop-rocker who won the first Season of American Idol. Now a 35-year-old mother of two, she is sounding off on how everything isn’t always what it seems to be — especially in the looks department.

“When I was really skinny, I wanted to kill myself,” Clarkson said. The singer remembers being miserable and, as a result, dropping a lot of weight. “But no one cared because aesthetically you make sense.”

The singer’s body image battle began in the seventh grade when she wrestled with bulimia. After years in the spotlight took a toll on her, Clarkson decided to take back her life.

“There’s a song on My December called ‘Sober’,” she said. “There’s this line ‘picked the weeds but kept the flowers’ and I just live my life by that because you are who you surround yourself with. I was around some really negative people, and I got out of it because I had a lot of great people there, too. It was a case of turning around, facing them and walking toward the light.”

Regardless of size, Clarkson has proven that her talent remains the same and that is why she’s so lovable.

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